Okay so I lied, Homecoming really wasn't that great. I just didn't want to think about it so i didn't blog about it. But i think I'm ready to get it out;)
The date started off great! Benj was super nice, a perfect gentlemen, and tons of fun. Benj isn't really the type of kid that hugs girls, he's not the touchy feely type, so when he kept hugging me and holding my hand and stuff i was super happy and really excited.
During the dance people started moshing and a bunch of kids got kicked out so Benj started swearing, A LOT! I don't think I've ever heard the f word so many times in one night. So i was really put off and you could see it in my face I'm guessing because Benj said "why are you so mad Laura? I'm going to get a drink" and then didn't come back for two songs.
When he came back it was a slow song so i figured it was a good time to kinda explain my self. I told him that I thought of him as more then just a date and i needed to keep my standards high and it would be nice if he did too. I also told him that it was because when people around me swear and start swearing and so that's why i didn't want him to swear around me.
He acted totally cool about it and said it was okay and that i didn't have to apologize, and then didn't talk to me for the rest of the night...
I went home and cried to my mommy who said "boys don't like to be changed" and pretty much told me it was my fault and i ruined for my self. So i went to my daddy who told me that i did the right thing and he thought what i did was good but the reason why Benj acted like that is because he's a boy and doesn't want you to be his mom.
I was so confused about how i felt because I've been taught all my life from my church leaders to set the standard high and to keep the standard i set. For the first time in my life i actually did it and all i get is rejection! I kept having second thoughts, did i really do the right thing? After all, its just swearing.
My question was answered that Monday in seminary. My seminary teacher said to the boys in the class "the same mouth that you swear with is the same mouth that prays to your heavenly father and is the same mouth that blesses the sacrament each sunday". We ended up talking about swearing for a good forty minutes and it really cleared up the confusion i had. My seminary teacher told us that he hadn't been planning on talking about swearing at all that day but for some reason he felt that he should bring it up. I knew it wasn't a coincidence.
I'm really glad that i said what i did that night. Benj didn't respect me in that way, so whats to say he would respect me in other ways? I think it might have stopped me from getting into a relationship that wouldn't have been the best one for me to be in. I'm still really sad that Benj doesn't talk to me anymore but i feel like i made the right choice.
I'm so proud of you for standing up for yourself! Anyone of my high school friends who had different standards are no longer my friends; we just went separate ways, so don't worry about him. The people you want in your life for the long haul will share your standards. Your seminary teacher was right - I want the men blessing the sacrament to be truly worthy, not faking it.
ReplyDeleteThis scripture got me through a lot of tough times. When you're trying to figure out what path to take and whats right or wrong for you it may help. The first part is the main point.
ReplyDelete1 Cor. 14: 33 For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace...
Anytime something was going on in my life that confused me and I didn't know if it was right or not I would refer to this scripture and pretty much every time would learn it wasn't the right thing to do because I was so confused about it.
We are taught certain things in the gospel. Satan tries to confuse us and make us believe that they aren't "that big of a deal" or "everybody does it, so who cares." This way of thinking only causes us confusion, which is not of God.
Laura I'm so proud of you! I wish I would have been smart enough to live my standards when I was in high school. High school is a hard time! I do not envy you being in high school during this time. Everyone wants to fit in, but sometimes following the crowd means compromising your standards. Those who want you to compromise your standards aren't people you want to be around. Consider this too, once you are out of high school and married (hopefully not for a long while for you :)) your friends end up being your family. You will still have friends with those who stuck with you through the hard times but your family becomes your family too! So continue sticking to your standards!
ReplyDeleteGood for you Laura! You did the right thing. But I think you should cut your 'rents some slack. It doesn't sound to me like they were telling that you did it wrong, it sounds to me like they were trying to explain the boy's behavior... and basically teenage boys are pigs (I know I was one and I had two of them.)
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